You can visualize better sex with your spouse. You’ll be amazed how much it helps in dealing with stress.
There’s really no great trick to visualization-what you must do is give yourself the time and privacy to create scenarios in enormous detail.
See the bed, hear the music, smell the flowers out- side the window, touch the smooth sheets in your mind. Then add your love( The memory of exactly what you did with your lover the \ last time, or the desire for what you’d like to do next time sharpens your mental skills and enhances your sexuality. There are those who can trigger an orgasm just from conjuring up an erotic mental scene.
Everybody I know lives with stress. There are hundreds of items, big and little, each day that cause you agita, roughly translated from colloquial Italian as “agitation.” When you are under stress, your body reflects in various ways:
• Your central nervous system puts out stress hormones that help you fight the feeling that you’re losing it.
• Your heart rate, blood pressure and muscle tension increase.
• Your blood sugar level rises to give you a burst of energy.
• Your stomach and intestines slow down their activity.
• How much stress does sex cause and how much does it dissolve? This depends entirely on the setting and circumstances. A couple about to split up who are still attracted to each other may have a great deal of stress in the bedroom; likewise a couple carrying on an illicit love affair. A fast-track couple who are bombarded with career and family responsibilities can ease away stress with a spontaneous erotic night in a motel room. A pair of newlyweds may find sex stressful because they want to please each other so much.
But as long as these four couples see their stress as a positive challenge, they can come out of the experience as healthier individuals.
It doesn’t matter how much stress you have, but how it affects you. For some people, stress is stimulating-it’s a eu or good stress.
For others, who experience mal stress, it is a nightmare of pressure where an imminent feeling of failure presides. Stress doesn’t cause disease. But if you react badly to stress, your immune system will begin to slow down and become less active, leaving you vulnerable to exhaustion and illness.
Relationships and Stress
If you are going through hard times, but you have a lover who cares deeply or good family support or a solid network of friends, you will stay in much better shape than you would if you were all alone.
If you have people depending on you, you simply have to stay well. Think about elderly couples who’ve spent forty or fifty years together. If one of the two is ailing, the other has to rally all her resources.
And the challenge of doing that can actually keep her in good shape until her spouse is well again. There are so many stories about very sick individuals holding onto life until their obligation to a loved one was completed to their satisfaction.
Loneliness can make the heart break; but someone who needs you fills you with a sense of self-worth and assures you of your importance on earth.
Conversely, if you have no social support, and you are depressed or bereaved, this can wreak havoc with your immune system. People who have gone through a difficult divorce or the death of a spouse or have been diagnosed with a terminal disease show decreased immune system activity.
There are enough cases of couples who die within months or even weeks of one another to show how deep mourning can leave you open to becoming seriously ill yourself with little prospect of recovery.
A strong relationship turns out to be more protective for men than for women, however. Marriage helps men to live longer, though it does not seem to affect women’s longevity. I think there are strong social components to this inequality.
Men traditionally aren’t taught to care for themselves, so as liberated as they may be, it is calming and soothing-and therefore beneficial to their health-having someone around to do those homely chores that they might easily do themselves.