A comprehensive guide to last longer in bed & delay climax for men
One of the key components of controlling arousal is breathing control / regulation. Breathing is a unique bodily function in that it can be controlled by the autonomous system (without your help), or directly by your conscious mind. If you practice your breathing exercises, eventually you’ll be able to control your heart beat; which has an important role to play in arousal.
The main point is, controlling your breathing will assist you in lasting much longer in the bedroom.
Breathing the ‘Right’ Way
Let’s look at some techniques you can use to develop breath control during sexual congress. A lot of guys seem to favor faster and shorter breaths when they are engaging in sexual activity. It is kind of a no-no, all it does is get you even more excited and aroused. The end result is a premature ejaculation, mostly due to the increase in hormone levels. So it is important to develop a steady and slow rate in order to control arousal.
The ‘deepness’ of your breathing, isn’t as important as how often you breathe. For most guys a 3 to 5 second delay between each breath seems to be just right. Maintain control and don’t let the pace quicken; we’re talking slow and deliberate here.
It is also important that you learn to use your diaphragm. Your diaphragm is the muscle that allows your lungs to function the way they do. A lot of people seem to think that they can simply suck in air in large gasps; but that isn’t really the way that it works.
Breathing in that way actually removes a lot of the power in your breathing, and as a result, disrupts your level of calmness. The truth is, using your chest, nose or mouth to breathe isn’t at all necessary. All you need to do is simply push out your diaphragm and let your body do the rest.
When using your diaphragm appropriately, you shouldn’t have to do anything more than expanding or pushing out your upper abdomen. Your diaphragm is located directly above your abdomen. Your abdominal muscles aren’t actually involved in the process, so keep them as relaxed as possible. A diaphragm driven breathing session can be extremely refreshing and rejuvenating.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 1)
Here is a step-by-step guide:
1. Sustain slow, medium depth breathing as covered earlier. I can’t stress how important this step is.
2. Once every minute to 30 seconds or so, close your eyes and take the deepest breath available to you.
3. Hold in that breath in for around 5 seconds and then slowly release it
4. As you are closing your eyes remember to concentrate fully on your breathing only. Really get inside your individual breaths, become lost in your own world. During this time you should be clear of any other thoughts (especially thoughts related to sex).
Halting stimulation during this time is not prerequisite, but it’s probably better if you do. If performed every minute or so, this simple breathing technique will not only keep you calm, it will also control your arousal level. As we’ve seen before, a high level of arousal will undoubtedly lead to ejaculation. When it comes right down to it, arousal is purely mental, that’s why these breathing techniques work so well. Through them you are able to maintain your erection while at the same time distracting yourself long enough to lower your arousal.
If your premature ejaculation is quite severe, use these techniques more often. If it isn’t as severe, use them sparingly or when arousal hits its peak. This is a very useful method, and it is really easy to integrate into your sexual vocabulary. When combined with ‘PM muscles training and relaxation’, ejaculation control will become an even easier task to master.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 2)
Synchronize your breathing.
This technique should be performed continuously during sexual activities. It is deceptively simple, but easy to master.
1. When sexually engaged, the penis enters and exits the vaginal canal in a particularly rhythmic manner.
2. The idea is to synchronize your breathing with each thrust
3. Exhale going in.
4. Inhale going out.
You don’t have to literally inhale / exhale for every thrust. What you want to achieve is a slower breathing rate than that of your thrusting. So, for every 5 thrusts apply the information outlined in the 4 steps above. Slow and deliberate breathing is crucial for delaying ejaculation.
Inhaling applies strain on the pelvic area and lower abdomen, and in turn, applies weight to the prostate and PC muscle. It should be known that applying pressure to these sensitive regions can immediately trigger orgasm. So ejaculation is less of a possibility when you are exhaling than when you are inhaling. Do your inhaling when you are less stimulated, for example; when you are pulling out. You will probably discover that inhalation is more natural-feeling when done in this manner.
The best breathing technique for delaying ejaculation (Part 3)
Triangular Breathing Technique.
This is a commonly used technique in Yoga and perhaps other eastern practices. It is designed to bring on an improved state of consciousness and relaxation. Since it helps relieve stress, it can work wonders for relieving and treating the anxiety issues that lead up to premature ejaculation. In addition to its calming effects, Seratonin production is reinforced as well.
How to perform the triangular breathing technique: (the actual number of seconds implemented may vary from person to person, you will need to find your own ‘magic number’)
Inhale for 3 seconds.
Hold for 3 seconds.
Exhale for 3 seconds.
With this technique you are learning to breathe in intervals, specifically in structures of 3. It is a very old and useful technique.
You should choose any length of time between 2 and 6 seconds for your exercise; just remember to keep them all at equal length. Gravitate towards whatever you consider to be most comfortable. You may begin by actually counting the seconds, but eventually you will get the hang of it without having to actually count. As arousal levels increase, you might want to resume counting; this acts as a nice distraction and prevents you from going to far over the edge.
You can use this technique as a sexual aid for its calming effects. But don’t forget the importance of breathing by itself, and trying to gather greater control over your body.
Consistent breathing is what is most important during sex. As your nerves or anxiety interferes, you may lose control of the situation; the breathing techniques are for learning to combat this situation. Remember, the more you do it the better you’ll become. These breathing techniques will open up a whole new world of sexual play to you, or help you rediscover it.
The more aware you are of your breathing the better. Keep it at a medium depth and at a slow pace. Stay relaxed, and you will last a lot longer in the bedroom
You may also want to experiment with different combination of breathing styles; through the nose, mouth, or in some combination for example. The point is to remain as calm as possible. The general consensus seems to state that the nose is more restricting and the mouth offers greater control; I recommend using both in combination, have fun.
The perineal muscles are chiefly responsible for postponing and executing ejaculation.
In case you didn’t know, the perineum encapsulates the area just above the penis, past the anus and ends at around the tailbone area. The perineal floor consists of a variety of muscles. These muscles are responsible for almost all of the necessary functions in the area, this includes; bowel movements, urination, ejaculation, orgasm.
There are 2 muscles that are responsible for controlling ejaculation, they are the “PC muscle (Pubococcygeus)” and the “BC muscle (Bulbocavernosus)”. They are often referred to as sex muscles.
The Levator Ani muscles are a group of muscles of which the PC muscle is a part of. It is connected to the BC muscle, and together they form the perineal floor. The PC muscle plays a more vital role in aiding bowel movements than it does for ejaculatory purposes, but it is involved nonetheless.
The BC muscle is compromised of 2 individual muscles that engulf the bulb of the penis. When semen or urine is pushed out, the BC muscles are what are responsible for the action. Because the PC and BC muscles are connected, they tend to get classified as one big muscle. Even modern, well documented and researched books sometimes make the mistake of not differentiating between these 2; more often than not, the entire muscle is simply called the PC muscle. That’s not to say that they are misinforming people on the proper usage of it, it’s just worth mentioning that there is actually a difference. Knowing the difference may come in handy later. For simplicity’s sake, from this point on we’ll simply refer to both muscles in the singular sense.
Your PC muscle could be seen as a sort of ‘last defense’ against ejaculation. But if you use it a lot during sex, you might find that it pushes you closer to orgasm than before. This is an often overlooked detail about the PC muscle and its many functions.
Having a strong PC muscle is definitely a great thing. Your orgasms will become stronger, erections harder and you’ll last a lot longer than someone with a weak one.
You can also use the PC muscle to block oncoming ejaculations…..
Where is the PC muscle?
Let’s take a second and really locate your PC muscle. It is located between your anus and scrotum. To feel it contract; just stop your flow of urine the next time you are in the bathroom; the muscle that stops the flow is the PC muscle. Your PC muscle is also capable of moving around your erect penis. Now that we’ve found it, let’s give it a little workout. If you find yourself unable to actually contract this muscle more than 30 times or contract and hold it for up to 30 seconds, then your PC muscle is in poor condition.
Training your PM muscle
You need to strengthen your PM muscle before it can be used to nullify an ejaculation. The PM muscle is actually one of the more underdeveloped muscles that we humans possess; I guess no one ever told us about it before
Training your PM muscle can be done using a variety of different methods. If you feel up to it, you might even want to develop your own program. The exercises that you will have to implement are known as kegel exercises (named after the man who discovered them). The original intention of PC muscle exercise was to help pregnant women recover their sexual function. Men started doing them after it was noticed that they seemed to work for anyone. There are 2 common ways to exercise the PC muscle; flex it repeatedly or contract and hold it for any length of time.
Before we get started …
Let’s go over a few things about the perineal muscles (PM). It’s imperative that you be familiar with precisely what I am implying when I state flex throughout this chapter, when pointing out these training techniques. ‘Flexing’ in this context means to squeeze the muscle. As you become more familiar with it, you will find that there are 2 principal ways you can flex this muscle. They are sort of similar, but they both produce entirely different sensations. Now let’s go into more detail, shall we?
The first way to flex the PM muscle is in an upward and inward movement. You want to create the sensation that something is tugging on the muscle from inside your body and towards your backside. It should feel like one giant muscle transfixed in the middle of your perineum. This particular method involves the use of a greater part of the rear section of the muscle.
The second method involves the use of the front section of the PM. This should create the sensation of 2 individual muscles being squeezed together (and that’s what you’re actually doing), this one will be centered more towards your scrotum. The front part of the PM is responsible for pushing out fluids, so it’s understandable that this method will go against your goal of achieving total orgasm control.
Here is a great PM exercise that you can do a few times every week for great results:
Get your erection up to around 35-45%, (but they can be performed flaccid or fully erect) what we’re trying to do is get you relaxed and slightly aroused. If you do them too hard, you might find an erection to be more uncomfortable. But if you’re trying to increase the rigidity of your erection, then by all means, have at it.
Here is what you need to do
Flex and hold your PM muscle for around 3-5 seconds.
Let go, and relax for a few seconds.
Repeat flexes and holds, step 2….
Repeat up to 20 times.
Try to do at least a couple of sets per day.
You can even combine both of the front and back PM muscle flexing techniques for interesting results.
But that’s not all there is to it; you also need to focus on your breathing. When you squeeze the PM, inhale; when you release it, exhale. There will be a more efficient energy transfer using this method, which will ultimately result in a more effective workout.
For you overachievers, here is a more highly developed PC muscles exercise that you can perform. It’s definitely much more involved, but the results are spectacular; no pain, no gain.
Squeeze and hold the PM for at least 10 seconds.
Release for 4 seconds.
Repeat up to 20 times
1 set of these per day is enough.
Alter your breathing like you did in the first exercise. Since you are squeezing the PM for up to 10 seconds, you don’t have to hold your breath. Just try and make sure you exhale at the beginning of each squeeze; your abs should be used as well.
Take it easy at first, try to do only around half of the required repetitions from the first example; when you feel that you can do more, step it up. You may also want to develop your own schedule and program. One of the great things about PM exercises is that you can do them anywhere at anytime, and no one will know what you are doing.
There is actually no need to construct and follow some kind of rigorous regimen. A few repetitions a few times a week is more than enough. Just try not to over do things, as there is no need for it. You can do them while standing up; legs about shoulder width apart, and bend forward slightly; this position enhances the effectiveness. In order to avoid unnecessary lower back strain, put your hands on your knees for further balance.
A strong PM will become more useful later when you are learning to squeeze it right before an orgasm in order to facilitate multiple orgasms. Squeezing / flexing the PM during sexual activity will actually bring you closer to ejaculation. Master the relaxation method before you attempt to use the PM to hold back an ejaculation. Once you are able to fully use the PM, you will find that it is the best way to reduce or completely eliminate your premature ejaculation difficulties.